The fires are devastating. It seems like whenever one stops, another starts. now its changed the sky colors...

Why does this have to happen again?

Besides this, I was reading on the bus and managed to zone out completely. i missed my stop. when I got off and tried to walk back, it was murder. It was super hot, my back and legs hurt., my arms hurt from carrying my school stuff and it was ALL up hill, the entire rode.

By the time i got home i was so hot, to hot to even touch my forehead, and almost passed out 3 times. I hate my low blood pressure -.-

Giggles and Tears

My sister shared a picture to my Facebook wall today and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. It was to cute and awesome.  So being kind me I'm going to share it with everyone else.

This is a gorgeous guinea pig. I have two myself so these type of pictures just make me smile and giggle. Though today has not been all smiles a giggles, though I wish it had been.

I was already tired from running around the CDC [Child Development Center] and then going to math class, but now life is just going right back down the hole. The front door is broken. The top part of the wood is coming up slightly enough that the door leans. Now when you close it, you either have to lift it to close, or you can't get it open. all we had were small nails and no hammer to be seen but they aren't working so we don't know what to do. 

Although he would never admit it, it was dad who broke the door.  He leans and pulls so hard on that door its the only way to explain why the door would be doing what it is. 600 pounds puling and pushing down on the door. Though mom started loosing herself, so convinced her to go back to the kitchen and finish what she was doing and the dish washer was having problems so she started going "why why why why why" in a high pitched voice as she tried not to cry. She's out of the house now, going off to buy a hammer and nails or whatever. 

I walked to the pantry, close to where dad's bedroom is and saw him getting dressed. unable to resist I looked at him and said " mom's gone" he asked where she had gone so I replied "to get nails for the door you broke most likely." he growled saying "I did NOT break the door" I told him he had, leaning on the door and he started protesting saying " I do not lean on the door" so when he left the house he made a point of leaning on the brick instead. 

He doesn't understand that leaning on the door is also putting all his weight on it cause he's soooo tired and can 'barely' stand, as he opens it. But its useless he cant even admit how fat he is, no chance in heck he is going to admit him being fat broke our front door. 

So mom is now off on her own.. I asked if she wanted me to go with her and she just said 'no'. She sounded mad... but I know she wasn't mad at me, just at the whole situation. She's stressed with school and everything else that is going on and this just was a bad time for this to happen.

I'm just worried about her being by herself. I don't want her to hurt herself or anything and I hate to see her cry. It's making it all the harder that I'm trying so hard not to hate him, not to yell and be angry at him for making her cry again. Mom says I need to pray for him and let the anger go but each time he does something or causes something to happen like this it makes it harder and harder.

I have a big project due next Wednesday that I should be doing... I have a paper I should be doing that is due tomorrow... I have math homework i need to be doing... I have reading I need to be doing. So much homework... and I am probably going downstairs to find a hammer and my nails. I'm sure my container, wherever it is, has long ones in it.

I'm not even going to be able to talk to my friends, which I haven't done much of the past few days, all because I need to find the hammer and nails, and try to have it fixed and mom feeling better before she gets home. I just hope that if i succeed... dad isn't home to ruin it.

Empty

I have been feeling depressed since yesterday. I don't mean like sad I mean really depressed.

I got the grade back from my summary essay I turned in Friday. I got a 66% or in other words, I received a D. To those who think 'that's not that bad' try and remember that to most schools a D is just as bad as an F. My mom and the guy that had peer reviewed it both loved it but apparently my teacher did not feel the same way.

In my previous English class my teacher loved me. He even told me once how he did mine first because he knew it was going to be an easy read. Never did I receive a grade lower then an A. I thought I was finally past getting the C's and D's I received in high school. I was wrong.

My teacher said "At times you had the right idea, but too many sloppy errors (i.e. those covered in class) + a lack of focus brought your overall grade down. be sure to visit the Writing Center in the future to help you ID a clear thesis and fix some of your sentence problems too."

This has killed me. on the paper she had lots of notes and marks saying everything she thought was wrong [which was most of the paper] I cried yesterday, then cried myself to sleep, then cried this morning. I feel so empty now.

I used 'it' twice, I missed a contraction and she thought most of it was wordy and rambling. Not to mention she couldn't find my thesis apparently.  Telling me I needed to go to the writing center was a hard blow. I've been writing for as logn as I can remember.. and now I have someone telling me I can't write. It makes me want to stop writing completely, to the point I haven't written in my notebook for the Tah-len and Mae story at all.

Nothing Better Then a Shower

So my hair was feeling kind of yucky so I decided I was going to take a shower. Well Mellow, our blue and gold macaw, hasn't had a shower in a little bit so I took him in with me. He doesn't move through the hot water, or even when it was warm but once cold water hit him he had the time of his life. He was dancing around and spreading his wings. He has a massive wingspan so as I was standing there I kept getting hit with his wings.  At one point while he hit me he started laughing.

Eventually it was getting to cold for me and he was calming down so I stopped the water but as I got dressed he just danced on the perch. That bird was so happy it just made me giggle. Now he is soaking wet on the ropes just walking around and talking up a storm.

Unexpected Things

I was at my morning class today for ECE 102 - Intro to Lab Techniques. I was supposed to be home by 12.     Well for that class I need to do 60 hours in the childcare center hear and the orientation I found out was today at 1:30 well my class got out at 10:30 so I wasn't planning on staying the 3 hours since i didn't bring homework to do. Turns out they wont be able to do it again for me until next week and to get the 60 hours done i need to get started soon. So here I am at the school, ALL DAY again.

I didn't bring lunch.. I didn't bring ANYTHING because I wasn't supposed to be here that freaking long. So I'm starving, nothing to do and its only 11:30 I still have 2 hours to go. How annoying is that?

At least there is someone here i can help out. She is taking a class i finished in spring and needs help registering for it. So that will take a little time at least. I am excited to be working with the kids, but I dont appreciate being here for 3 hours.

Seriously I am not happy but on to something else.

My teacher was giving us names of places that were good that we could go to, to do our hours, and then she gave us the 2 she said we shouldn't go to. Primrose is a BAD place to go. Technically they are accredited but they own the company that accredited them. They practices they do, like the work sheets for 2 year old, although make some parents go "wow that's awesome" is NOT okay. You have to understand those types of things for that age group is not, and i repeat not developmentally appropriate. You should not having 2 year olds doing work sheets.  Their rooms are NOT arranged right, they dont have enough room yet they do not let the teachers rearrange their own rooms.

Not going so well in school...

So we had our first writing assignment in English today. was our first class and as the other one had we had a little essay we were to write so she could see our levels. It was only going to be 4 points. I've never had a problem with essays and my English teacher before loved my writing, just not my grammar, and I got a's on every assignment.

I get home and find a grade is already posted...

What did I get? a 75%! -.- I received 3 out of 4 points. I don't understand it. I'm sure I did everything the way she wanted, that I wrote it out and everything like I had before. I re-read the rubric and it said to analyse. I did, so in response my conclusion had my opinion in it but that is what it wanted!

So why did I only get a c???

This is not showing any good omens on getting an A in English 121 if i cant even get a great grade on the very first assignment.

Wrapper Cranes

So me and mom went to McDonald's today, the one inside Walmart, and while she was on the phone I was just folding my wrapper into a plane. When she started cleaning off her wrapper and started folding it. After a moment I realized she was trying to make a crane but couldn't remember. After both of us folding a little she remembered and... TUDAH! We had a crane.

Well my sister was still talking so I unfolded my wrapper and started making another crane. I got a little stuck but mom fixed it and then we had to. I really wanted a pic of them so mom decided to wait.

It was taking a bit so I took a napkin and started making another one, this one was smaller and I managed to do it all by myself. However while I was trying to blow air into it a loud whistle came out. I was trying not to laugh as mom just stared at me laughing a little saying, "Was that you??" I was like... I think so. Haha apparently my sister heard it through the phone as well.

Not sure how I made it whistle like that, but I eventually stopped  laughing enough to go back to blowing air and got it puffed up and we ended up with three cranes. I would have felt bad throwing them away, so I kept them after taking a few pictures. I just wanted pics but mom asked me if I was taking them for my blog and it hit me. Yeah! I could just put them on my blog and by-pass Facebook.

I sent the pictures off to my sister who just laughed saying "you guys are silly" but hey... at least we had lots of fun making them!

So at least we had a good morning today. I will remember it for awhile and I swear, every time I think or make cranes now I'm just going to giggle because of that stupid whistle.