So I was hoping I was wrong, but I wasn't.
It isn't Stephanie's fault at all in their mind. It is mine and the cat that, thanks to Stephanie's cats, has to be locked in my room all day. Apparently i cant be in pain, i can't be depressed, Stephanie can't have pissed me off. No... Its Luna driving me nuts.
Than just now Mandi's dumb bird walked in and I told her I couldn't get him. When I told her it was because my back hurt real bad she rolled her eyes so I said FINE and went and get the dumb bird which hurt like crap and all they have to say is, "you don't HAVE to bend, just squat." Well that doesn't help, moving at all hurts.
I'm crying now cause it hurt but who cares... mom just said "see this is what i have been dealing it"
Why is it never anyone's fault by mine? Mandi made me get HER bird but because I'm in pain and started crying it's my fault.
I hate them all...
This is my world and my life, what I do, what I suffer through, and what I create.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Things Never Change
I was woken up last night with a terrible pain in my stomach. If I didn't know it was already out, i would say it was my Gaul Bladder again. Since than I have been having issues all day.
Was already not in the best mood and what does Stephanie do? Start going at me and not leave me alone. To the point Dad decided he needed to be helpful and tell me to stop it.. me... not her. She wasn't leaving me alone, was making me worse and worse but its me that gets told to shut it.
I couldn't handle it so, with no shoes and my hair unbrushed I just left the house and walked and walked for a bit. The side walk was cold and hurting my feet so I stopped and called my mom telling her to text me when Stephanie and Dad were gone, because I refused to go back home while they were there. She asked me where I was and just picked me up in the car... with dad there and drove to church.
You'd think it would end there right? Nope!
I went to tell my mom something during nursery and Stephanie was there. She started saying things like , "cause we all know its only one opinion that matters" and wouldn't stop. She just kept harassing me and in the end my mom told me to stop it and go back to the nursery...
Once again she starts it, she harasses me and yet I am the one that is told to shut up. Was so upset i had to tell them I would be in the kitchen in they needed me and I hid in the kitchen crying for most of nursery. Mom is still made at me, will barely even talk to me. I like how its not Stephanie's fault.. its mine. She can rag on me, lecture me, harass me. That's okay. If i get pissed, than suddenly its not okay.
I hate my family sometimes.. now all I want to do is hide on the computer but most of my online friends aren't online, so I am left alone when I need people the most... as usual. And of course, for no reason at all my back is killing me...
I can barely bend over.
Just something else to make my day better.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Pet Peeve
I have discovered another pet peeve of mine...
Its the sound of dad panting, sooo out of breath from the 4 ft walk to the kitchen and then back again..
He sounds like he's dying or just ran a marathon..-.-
Its the sound of dad panting, sooo out of breath from the 4 ft walk to the kitchen and then back again..
He sounds like he's dying or just ran a marathon..-.-
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Jonah and the Whale
*Lesson Time in the Nursery today*
okay, I am in charge of the Nursery at church. The Nursery, for those who don't know, is Sunday school for the ages of 18 months - 2 years old. Me and another lady, Sister Clarke, are in charge, it was my turn to give the lessen today.
Me: We are going to hear a story about a man named Jonah. Now Jonah was sitting one day and god came to him and said "Jonah I need you to go to Nineveh. They are not doing what they should so you need to go talk to them. " Jonah said, "okay" but then thought about it. He did not want to go to Nineveh, it was a scary place. So instead he thought, "i'll just go as far away as possible." So Jonah found a captain and said, "I want to go here" well, seeing as he could pay and all the Captain said okay. But while they were at sea a terrible storm came. Jonah was sleeping and the captain came up to him and said "Jonah we are in a terrible storm, maybe you could pray to your god to get him to free us from it" Jonah decided it was time to come clean so he told them he was running away from god. So to make it stop, they threw him off the ship. Instantly the storm STOPPED!. so Jonah just hung out in the water but... uh-oh... something is coming towards him -moving the flannel board whale towards Jonah-
Child: a WHALE!
Sister Clark: Yes, its a whale
Me: He swam closer till BAM! - putting the whale over the figure of Jonah- the whale ate Jonah. Well, the people on the ship didn't know what to do. Eventually they decided, "Not our problem!" and sailed their ship away, leaving Jonah in the whale. Now it had to have been stinky in there. So he sat in that whale for 3 DAYS! He had to sit there with its stinky smell and sit with all the yucky stuff the whale ate. Eventually he prayed to god and said "okay, you get me out of this whale i'll go do what you want." so what did the lord do? He caused the whale to puke up Jonah. So now, not only does he smell like stinky fish, now he smells like Whale barf
* at this point Sister Clarke is giggling. She's been laughing throughout the entire thing at this point and Sister Goats has come in *
Me: So Jonah went to Nineveh. He went to the king and said, " you cannot do these things, you need to stop or the lord will destroy you" The king did not realize they were doing bad things, so he said okay and smelly Jonah went up to a hill. He sat there on this hill, excited to watch the lord destroy Nineveh. God even caused a weed to grow, to give Jonah some shade. "okay god, " he said, "i did my part now destroy them, go on" But the lord wasn't going to destroy Nineveh, they were doing what they were supposed to. So Jonah just waited, and waited and waited. Oh-no... here comes a little worm. It inches its way over and EATS that weed. Now, not only does Jonah smell of fish stomach, and whale barf. Now he has no shade.
* at this point Sister Clarke and Sister Goats and giggling behind the children.*
Me: Okay, now its time for Singing time! Later we'll get to color our OWN fish, but these fish wont eat us. Now say good bye to Jonah!
Kids: Bye Jonah
Me: - putting Jonah back in the envelope with the other flannel board pieces- Jonahs going to join his wail, but don't worry, the whale wont eat him this time.
*The end of the lessen.*
Apparently I was very amusing telling the tale of Jonah and the Whale. lol
okay, I am in charge of the Nursery at church. The Nursery, for those who don't know, is Sunday school for the ages of 18 months - 2 years old. Me and another lady, Sister Clarke, are in charge, it was my turn to give the lessen today.
Me: We are going to hear a story about a man named Jonah. Now Jonah was sitting one day and god came to him and said "Jonah I need you to go to Nineveh. They are not doing what they should so you need to go talk to them. " Jonah said, "okay" but then thought about it. He did not want to go to Nineveh, it was a scary place. So instead he thought, "i'll just go as far away as possible." So Jonah found a captain and said, "I want to go here" well, seeing as he could pay and all the Captain said okay. But while they were at sea a terrible storm came. Jonah was sleeping and the captain came up to him and said "Jonah we are in a terrible storm, maybe you could pray to your god to get him to free us from it" Jonah decided it was time to come clean so he told them he was running away from god. So to make it stop, they threw him off the ship. Instantly the storm STOPPED!. so Jonah just hung out in the water but... uh-oh... something is coming towards him -moving the flannel board whale towards Jonah-
Child: a WHALE!
Sister Clark: Yes, its a whale
Me: He swam closer till BAM! - putting the whale over the figure of Jonah- the whale ate Jonah. Well, the people on the ship didn't know what to do. Eventually they decided, "Not our problem!" and sailed their ship away, leaving Jonah in the whale. Now it had to have been stinky in there. So he sat in that whale for 3 DAYS! He had to sit there with its stinky smell and sit with all the yucky stuff the whale ate. Eventually he prayed to god and said "okay, you get me out of this whale i'll go do what you want." so what did the lord do? He caused the whale to puke up Jonah. So now, not only does he smell like stinky fish, now he smells like Whale barf
* at this point Sister Clarke is giggling. She's been laughing throughout the entire thing at this point and Sister Goats has come in *
Me: So Jonah went to Nineveh. He went to the king and said, " you cannot do these things, you need to stop or the lord will destroy you" The king did not realize they were doing bad things, so he said okay and smelly Jonah went up to a hill. He sat there on this hill, excited to watch the lord destroy Nineveh. God even caused a weed to grow, to give Jonah some shade. "okay god, " he said, "i did my part now destroy them, go on" But the lord wasn't going to destroy Nineveh, they were doing what they were supposed to. So Jonah just waited, and waited and waited. Oh-no... here comes a little worm. It inches its way over and EATS that weed. Now, not only does Jonah smell of fish stomach, and whale barf. Now he has no shade.
* at this point Sister Clarke and Sister Goats and giggling behind the children.*
Me: Okay, now its time for Singing time! Later we'll get to color our OWN fish, but these fish wont eat us. Now say good bye to Jonah!
Kids: Bye Jonah
Me: - putting Jonah back in the envelope with the other flannel board pieces- Jonahs going to join his wail, but don't worry, the whale wont eat him this time.
*The end of the lessen.*
Apparently I was very amusing telling the tale of Jonah and the Whale. lol
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Blessings
While in the class Financial Mathematics, I met a woman who did not understand it. We ended up getting together a few times so i could help her learn what we were going over. Well she passed the class with an A and told me she wanted to bring over "blessings" for me. Well she just brought them over and they are beautiful.
I knew I needed a vase, so I started looking around and finally found an old one. After cleaning it would I cut the stems, added the food, and put them in the vase. I noticed, then, a rose mom had gotten from school. I thought maybe it would live longer if it was in the vase with the plant food in it, so I put mom's rose in there as well. They just look so pretty and I cannot wait to read that book. Always was curious but now that I have a brand new copy I can read it.
I knew I needed a vase, so I started looking around and finally found an old one. After cleaning it would I cut the stems, added the food, and put them in the vase. I noticed, then, a rose mom had gotten from school. I thought maybe it would live longer if it was in the vase with the plant food in it, so I put mom's rose in there as well. They just look so pretty and I cannot wait to read that book. Always was curious but now that I have a brand new copy I can read it.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Fun in the Woods
So on the 13th me, mom and dad drove up to where the ward [church] had camped out. we couldn't do the camp out itself because me and mom had had school. So we decided to drive up that morning for breakfast. After breakfast me and mom had fun walking around. Mom had her phone so you know whats coming... awesome pics!
I was walking by and saw this hold burrowed into the rock and ground, I do not know who this whole belonged to, but it defiantly belonged to someone. And look, another whole in another part of the woods. Whoever it was had lots of happy homes, or lots of friends.
Yes this is a tiny flower... we even held it up to a penny so you could understand its smallness.
Aren't they just so cute and tiny? They were so pretty I picked one and pressed it inside my copy of Kidnapped. Yes I really did this, so no judgments you judgmental people!
Oh look! its another home in the ground. This one is harder to see but isn't it just awesome I loved seeing all these different holes and homes! The very first one was the best, but these others were still pretty darn cool.
Now, while we were walking we came a crossed this beautiful little purple flower. It even has the little stripes. I loved it so I decided to press it as well. But then I took a picture so everyone else could see its pretty color and admire it with me.
In fact I took more then one picture. Here is a closeup of the flower (left). You can see the color and the pretty lines that are on each of its petals. These purple flowers were all over and quite easy to find. I even took a third picture of a little patch of the pretty purple flowers (bottom right).
Now, as we were walking around we find an area that has what looks like a fire pit, but overgrown with grass. If it was a fire pit, it wasn't anymore, so as mom stood by it I had her stop for a moment so I could get a good picture of the area. the picture (left) I thought was good at getting the whole little area there.
So do you see that strange box with a hole in it? It is right next tot he left side of my mom... You don't know what it is? Well...welcome to the club! We have no idea what it is either. So I took a picture of it. You have to admit it is kind of cool looking. So if you know what it is, you are welcome to comment and let me know and i'll spread the word.
We know it is not a box to keep out the bears... because there is a whole in the middle of it. So that wouldn't keep anything out.
The next picture (left) is of a pretty little plant I found. I did not pic it, to afraid when it was dried the color would be gone. I do not know what kind of plant it is but I just love the color of it. Its almost like it has been frosted. I have never seen anything as pretty as whatever this plant was. I took another picture of the same time of plant, so you could see how much of it was there.
I am going to tell you the story of a little purple flower. Different from the one I have shown earlier it was bent over almost like a bell. It was so pretty and little i picked it and instantly put it into my book to be pressed.
But then when I started talking pictures I wanted a picture of that flower to. We couldn't find it anywhere. In fact we walked around for a little bit before we finally found some. So I took a picture of it (right). I wanted another picture of the little flower, so my mom kindly held it so I could get a nice picture of what it looked like from the front.
My first attempt at C.S.I. I have the footprint, but have not yet matched it to any suspect...or a crime. But I have the footprint whoever you are... be afraid, be very afraid.
This was just a pretty plant. We saw one that was more full grown and it was huge.. and I do mean huge, it reached up to my hips I think. The way this
plant looked against the red dirt was just so pretty I had to take a picture of it. Go on... tell me its not pretty... HA! you can't cause it is gorgeous. I found a few pushes, or clusters of little plants that I thought just looked cool. I don't know what they are but I loved how they looked in general . Looking at the picture I also love how the green and browns mix together. I know it is just a bush to most, but I rather like it.
plant looked against the red dirt was just so pretty I had to take a picture of it. Go on... tell me its not pretty... HA! you can't cause it is gorgeous. I found a few pushes, or clusters of little plants that I thought just looked cool. I don't know what they are but I loved how they looked in general . Looking at the picture I also love how the green and browns mix together. I know it is just a bush to most, but I rather like it.
I have another picture here of more things I just thought looked interesting. Not everything here is extremely beautiful, it just looked interesting enough that I wanted to get a picture of it and safe it.
Now, looking up at all these pictures I think before I get to my last two, I need to bring up another flower. My mom thought that it was Indian's Paint Brush, but wasn't 100% positive. I loved how it looked, it is just so beautiful. So I took another picture of it. I do not remember if there were more around of if it was just this one, however I don't really remember any others really around it. So this may have been the only one that was there.
Now to my last two pictures. The first picture was just a cute little tree that seemed to have a little quirk to it. You have to admit that these special types of trees always make you smile because you know someone that, if they were a tree, would look like one of these.
In fact, I probably would be one of these. The second picture is of an aspen. Now there was no other aspens we could find in the area and this poor little guy was trying so hard to grow, but he didn't even really have many branches or leaves; but he was standing tall and proud out there by himself.
That is all the pictures I have for you, but I will tell you of one other thing that happened that day. When we were done walking around we saw a Frisbee on the ground. So me and mom just started tossing it back and forth. safe to say that we were terrible. It was so much fun though. We played around for an hour, attracting children that came and helped us play.
I have never had so much fun in my life then when I was playing Frisbee with my mom. She is the best when it comes to things like that. I will never forget that trip, if for no other reason then playing with that stupid Frisbee.
Now good people, I bid you a good night.
Pleasant dreams,
J.K. Van'Ellessad
Friday, July 12, 2013
Dinner
NOT cool man... not cool. I went over to the pantry to help mom find the pasta noodles. There were macaroni and then there were spaghetti. I don't like spaghetti..... So I said macaroni. AFTER I had said that dad goes "make it SPAGHETTI please, we've had too much macaroni noodles" so I was upset. Mom said I could choose which sauce we used but I don't care much about sauce.
Then he has the NERVE to say "sorry, didn't MEAN to cause a problem" in that tone of his "I didn't hear her say macaroni"
He lies a lot, and I know he's lying about that to. Now I get plain spaghetti noodles with a little bit of meat -.-
He lies a lot, and I know he's lying about that to. Now I get plain spaghetti noodles with a little bit of meat -.-
Friday, July 5, 2013
Fire Fighter Memorial
At Memorial Park in Colorado Springs, Co there is a firefighter memorial. While we were wandering around way before the fireworks were going to start me and mom found our self at the memorial. While not the first thing we saw I thought I'd first start with the large statue in the middle of the memorial. It is of a firefighter coming down a latter with a child in his arms. It is surrounded by rocks, and stands above everything else. It is an amazing piece of art.
Next picture I am going to show you I could only capture in 3 pictures so you could actually read what it says. This is on one of memorial slabs. As the picture says it is a poem called "The Last Alarm".
The Poem, if you cannot read it, says:
My father was a fireman, he drove a big red truck
and when he'd go to work each day
he'd say, "Mother, wish me luck".
Then dad would not come home again,
till sometime the next day.
till sometime the next day.
But the thing that bothered me the most was
the things some folks would say.
"A fireman's life is easy. He eats and sleeps and plays,
and sometimes he won't fight a fire for many, many days."
When I first heard these words,
I was too young to understand.
But I knew when people had trouble
dad was there to lend a hand.
When my father went to work one day
and kissed us all good-bye, little did we realize
that night we would all cry.
My father lost his life that night, when the floor gave way below.
I wondered why he'd risked his life for someone he did not know.
But now I truly realize the greatest gift a man can give,
is to lay his life upon the line so
someone else might live.
So as you go from day to day and pray to God above,
say a prayer for your local firemen.
He may save the ones you love!
To my right is a full picture of the poem,
"The Last Alarm" and the columns next to it. I really wanted to get the image a crossed. As I read this poem aloud to my mom I will admit I was trying not to cry.
"The Last Alarm" and the columns next to it. I really wanted to get the image a crossed. As I read this poem aloud to my mom I will admit I was trying not to cry.
This is one of the many walls. I believe this was one of the ones in the back. It rested at the end of a space left after 2012. The back wall is all the names just from September 11th. It is an impressive and almost sad sight to see all these names of fallen firefighters. Just seeing this wall can hit you hard and make you realize how many firefighters have died for us.
The next picture is of all the names. You can see the first and second wall. each one is filled with names of firefighters. Not only their names however, at the end of each name is the initials of which state there were from. I cannot put into words being there in person.
To continue with the memorial, I give you the last statue that resides in the memorial. To me it looked like a fireman ready to cry. To the right of this statue, on the stairs he's sitting on you can find a plaque that read:
In loving Memory of Gary E. Coulter
Artist/Sculptor of "Somewhere Everyday" and Lamentation" standing at the International Association of Fire Fighters Fallen Fire Fighters Memorial.
Sadly We say goodbye to a friend.
August 28, 1936- November 10, 2000
On the other side of the memorial was the following picture. It is for the International Association of Fire Fighters.
I wanted to know why the fire fighter looked so sad. I looked around the statue and found a little podium with a faded piece of paper. I decided I wanted a picture of that as well.
The paper starts of with another Poem. This one says:
A gallant, noble sacrifice,
a selfless life laid down;
So rare this public Servants worth,
no greater treasure found.
No greater act of decency,
no greater human love,
by lives they gave.
This tribute to unselfish hearts
today will testify,
that health and safety have a price
that firefighters die.
The shadow of this sentinel,
into tomorrow cast,
forever will the gravestones shield
of heroes who have past.
It bathes their tombs in bravery,
and brands upon their memory
the gift they gave, the canceled debt,
let town and peoples not forget
the price they paid to keep us safe
our lives and homes secure.
We honor those who gave their all
Firehouse poetry by
Lt. Aaron Epsy, I.A.F.F local #2819
Kitsap County, Washington
The other picture is just what was also on the paper, next to the poem Lamentations.
The next few pictures are clear enough you can read them. There are the plagues that rested under each of the three flags. First one, holding the American flag was the plague for Florida that read:
Broward County Council of Professional Fire Fighters
Broward County, Florida
Proudly dedicate this american flag standard to the memory and honor of our beloved fallen brother and sister fire fighters.
September 17, 1994
Broward County Council of Professional Fire Fighters
Broward County, Florida
Proudly dedicate this american flag standard to the memory and honor of our beloved fallen brother and sister fire fighters.
September 17, 1994
Next flag was the Canadian Flag. Below it was this plague for the Canadian fireman.
This Canadian Flag Standard is dedicated to all I.A.F.F Canadian fire fighters who have made the ultimate sacrifice in serving the citizens of their communities and country with pride, honor, and dedication
to their memory
Lastly we have the Colorado flag where beneath rested the plaque for the Tennessee firefighters.
This Canadian Flag Standard is dedicated to all I.A.F.F Canadian fire fighters who have made the ultimate sacrifice in serving the citizens of their communities and country with pride, honor, and dedication
to their memory
Lastly we have the Colorado flag where beneath rested the plaque for the Tennessee firefighters.
Tennessee Fire Fighters
1976-1989
This flag standard donated by the Tennessee Professional Fire Fighters Association
President Ralph Murdauch
Secretary Ronald w. Clevendger
In honor of fallen fire fighters:
1976-1989
This flag standard donated by the Tennessee Professional Fire Fighters Association
President Ralph Murdauch
Secretary Ronald w. Clevendger
In honor of fallen fire fighters:
Joseph E. Tarwater, William E. Childress, Martiniano Lerma, Henry A. Rutledge, James E. Montgomery, Charles H Vinson, Eddi Diviney and all future Tennessee fallen fire fighters.
Dedicated September 10th 1989
Dedicated September 10th 1989
A little bit to the side of the flags and their plaques I found another plaque of by itself that read:
Dedicated by the Ohio Association of Professional Firefighters on behalf of all the men and woman who have paid the ultimate sacrifice and given their lives in the line of duty.
September 16th 2000
Dedicated by the Ohio Association of Professional Firefighters on behalf of all the men and woman who have paid the ultimate sacrifice and given their lives in the line of duty.
September 16th 2000
Once I was done looking at all these plaques, and taking the pictures, I walked around and saw another pedestal with a picture and information about the National Canadian Flag Standard. If you look close enough you can clearly read what it says. I thought this was pretty cool.
After I was done I went back to the wall of names and took two pictures of the second wall, trying to show how big this wall is.
All these names just from September 11 - 2012. It is amazing, but also heart breaking. So many firefighters have fallen. Makes you wish for a world safe enough our firefighters would not have to give their lives for us.
.
This second picture shows how long it is, while the first showed where it started. I would be surprised if you could look at all these names of fallen fire fighters and not feel sad.
There are a few people in the picture. Although I could have waited and taken one without them I thought the picture needed them there. Two people that were strangers to me. I don't know if they were just visiting or if they knew someone on the wall.
It is obvious they are together. I just hope they were not mourning someone, for how sad would that be?
This second picture shows how long it is, while the first showed where it started. I would be surprised if you could look at all these names of fallen fire fighters and not feel sad.
There are a few people in the picture. Although I could have waited and taken one without them I thought the picture needed them there. Two people that were strangers to me. I don't know if they were just visiting or if they knew someone on the wall.
It is obvious they are together. I just hope they were not mourning someone, for how sad would that be?
Well, from this picture I moved to the back of this wall, curious as to what was there. It was mostly blank, thank goodness. There was however one small portion on it with names from 2001-2010
This first picture is of the heading that was on the back. It says:
Honor, Respect & Preserve with Dignity. They will not be Forgotten.
From there it listed a bunch of names. However by one of them I noticed a sticker that looked a lot like an official fireman sticker I guess. I have a picture of that as well but it is a little blurry.
I end with a general picture of the memorial itself. I will always remember this trip. Besides the awesome fireworks we got to see later, this memorial was totally amazing and I would never trade this experience for anything. I am thankful my mom had her phone with her so i could take these pictures and share it with everyone else.
I hope everyone else had a great Independence Day as I did.
Fire Works at Memorial Park
These are videos of the fireworks display from Memorial Park. This was the first time in 5 years we have had a real fireworks display so we were all pretty excited. I recorded these with my mom's phone. It is in so many pieces because a couple of them ran out of memory and after that i was just waiting for a finale and they were giving us a lot of false finales lol.
This is where the first time the memory didn't have enough room. But I cleared it up not wanting to not have the rest of the fireworks. SO once I cleared up some memory I started this second one.
If I remember right this one cut off to so I cleared up more memory space.
From here on is the false finales, it really was an awsome firework display and I'm sure by now you have heard the dog in the background and possibly the drunks guys yelling "go america!"
And finally, the finale!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Why does this have to happen again?
Besides this, I was reading on the bus and managed to zone out completely. i missed my stop. when I got off and tried to walk back, it was murder. It was super hot, my back and legs hurt., my arms hurt from carrying my school stuff and it was ALL up hill, the entire rode.
By the time i got home i was so hot, to hot to even touch my forehead, and almost passed out 3 times. I hate my low blood pressure -.-
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Giggles and Tears
My sister shared a picture to my Facebook wall today and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. It was to cute and awesome. So being kind me I'm going to share it with everyone else.
I'm just worried about her being by herself. I don't want her to hurt herself or anything and I hate to see her cry. It's making it all the harder that I'm trying so hard not to hate him, not to yell and be angry at him for making her cry again. Mom says I need to pray for him and let the anger go but each time he does something or causes something to happen like this it makes it harder and harder.
I have a big project due next Wednesday that I should be doing... I have a paper I should be doing that is due tomorrow... I have math homework i need to be doing... I have reading I need to be doing. So much homework... and I am probably going downstairs to find a hammer and my nails. I'm sure my container, wherever it is, has long ones in it.
I'm not even going to be able to talk to my friends, which I haven't done much of the past few days, all because I need to find the hammer and nails, and try to have it fixed and mom feeling better before she gets home. I just hope that if i succeed... dad isn't home to ruin it.
This is a gorgeous guinea pig. I have two myself so these type of pictures just make me smile and giggle. Though today has not been all smiles a giggles, though I wish it had been.
I was already tired from running around the CDC [Child Development Center] and then going to math class, but now life is just going right back down the hole. The front door is broken. The top part of the wood is coming up slightly enough that the door leans. Now when you close it, you either have to lift it to close, or you can't get it open. all we had were small nails and no hammer to be seen but they aren't working so we don't know what to do.
Although he would never admit it, it was dad who broke the door. He leans and pulls so hard on that door its the only way to explain why the door would be doing what it is. 600 pounds puling and pushing down on the door. Though mom started loosing herself, so convinced her to go back to the kitchen and finish what she was doing and the dish washer was having problems so she started going "why why why why why" in a high pitched voice as she tried not to cry. She's out of the house now, going off to buy a hammer and nails or whatever.
I walked to the pantry, close to where dad's bedroom is and saw him getting dressed. unable to resist I looked at him and said " mom's gone" he asked where she had gone so I replied "to get nails for the door you broke most likely." he growled saying "I did NOT break the door" I told him he had, leaning on the door and he started protesting saying " I do not lean on the door" so when he left the house he made a point of leaning on the brick instead.
He doesn't understand that leaning on the door is also putting all his weight on it cause he's soooo tired and can 'barely' stand, as he opens it. But its useless he cant even admit how fat he is, no chance in heck he is going to admit him being fat broke our front door.
So mom is now off on her own.. I asked if she wanted me to go with her and she just said 'no'. She sounded mad... but I know she wasn't mad at me, just at the whole situation. She's stressed with school and everything else that is going on and this just was a bad time for this to happen.
I'm just worried about her being by herself. I don't want her to hurt herself or anything and I hate to see her cry. It's making it all the harder that I'm trying so hard not to hate him, not to yell and be angry at him for making her cry again. Mom says I need to pray for him and let the anger go but each time he does something or causes something to happen like this it makes it harder and harder.
I have a big project due next Wednesday that I should be doing... I have a paper I should be doing that is due tomorrow... I have math homework i need to be doing... I have reading I need to be doing. So much homework... and I am probably going downstairs to find a hammer and my nails. I'm sure my container, wherever it is, has long ones in it.
I'm not even going to be able to talk to my friends, which I haven't done much of the past few days, all because I need to find the hammer and nails, and try to have it fixed and mom feeling better before she gets home. I just hope that if i succeed... dad isn't home to ruin it.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Empty
I have been feeling depressed since yesterday. I don't mean like sad I mean really depressed.
I got the grade back from my summary essay I turned in Friday. I got a 66% or in other words, I received a D. To those who think 'that's not that bad' try and remember that to most schools a D is just as bad as an F. My mom and the guy that had peer reviewed it both loved it but apparently my teacher did not feel the same way.
In my previous English class my teacher loved me. He even told me once how he did mine first because he knew it was going to be an easy read. Never did I receive a grade lower then an A. I thought I was finally past getting the C's and D's I received in high school. I was wrong.
My teacher said "At times you had the right idea, but too many sloppy errors (i.e. those covered in class) + a lack of focus brought your overall grade down. be sure to visit the Writing Center in the future to help you ID a clear thesis and fix some of your sentence problems too."
This has killed me. on the paper she had lots of notes and marks saying everything she thought was wrong [which was most of the paper] I cried yesterday, then cried myself to sleep, then cried this morning. I feel so empty now.
I used 'it' twice, I missed a contraction and she thought most of it was wordy and rambling. Not to mention she couldn't find my thesis apparently. Telling me I needed to go to the writing center was a hard blow. I've been writing for as logn as I can remember.. and now I have someone telling me I can't write. It makes me want to stop writing completely, to the point I haven't written in my notebook for the Tah-len and Mae story at all.
I got the grade back from my summary essay I turned in Friday. I got a 66% or in other words, I received a D. To those who think 'that's not that bad' try and remember that to most schools a D is just as bad as an F. My mom and the guy that had peer reviewed it both loved it but apparently my teacher did not feel the same way.
In my previous English class my teacher loved me. He even told me once how he did mine first because he knew it was going to be an easy read. Never did I receive a grade lower then an A. I thought I was finally past getting the C's and D's I received in high school. I was wrong.
My teacher said "At times you had the right idea, but too many sloppy errors (i.e. those covered in class) + a lack of focus brought your overall grade down. be sure to visit the Writing Center in the future to help you ID a clear thesis and fix some of your sentence problems too."
This has killed me. on the paper she had lots of notes and marks saying everything she thought was wrong [which was most of the paper] I cried yesterday, then cried myself to sleep, then cried this morning. I feel so empty now.
I used 'it' twice, I missed a contraction and she thought most of it was wordy and rambling. Not to mention she couldn't find my thesis apparently. Telling me I needed to go to the writing center was a hard blow. I've been writing for as logn as I can remember.. and now I have someone telling me I can't write. It makes me want to stop writing completely, to the point I haven't written in my notebook for the Tah-len and Mae story at all.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Nothing Better Then a Shower
So my hair was feeling kind of yucky so I decided I was going to take a shower. Well Mellow, our blue and gold macaw, hasn't had a shower in a little bit so I took him in with me. He doesn't move through the hot water, or even when it was warm but once cold water hit him he had the time of his life. He was dancing around and spreading his wings. He has a massive wingspan so as I was standing there I kept getting hit with his wings. At one point while he hit me he started laughing.
Eventually it was getting to cold for me and he was calming down so I stopped the water but as I got dressed he just danced on the perch. That bird was so happy it just made me giggle. Now he is soaking wet on the ropes just walking around and talking up a storm.
Eventually it was getting to cold for me and he was calming down so I stopped the water but as I got dressed he just danced on the perch. That bird was so happy it just made me giggle. Now he is soaking wet on the ropes just walking around and talking up a storm.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Unexpected Things
I was at my morning class today for ECE 102 - Intro to Lab Techniques. I was supposed to be home by 12. Well for that class I need to do 60 hours in the childcare center hear and the orientation I found out was today at 1:30 well my class got out at 10:30 so I wasn't planning on staying the 3 hours since i didn't bring homework to do. Turns out they wont be able to do it again for me until next week and to get the 60 hours done i need to get started soon. So here I am at the school, ALL DAY again.
I didn't bring lunch.. I didn't bring ANYTHING because I wasn't supposed to be here that freaking long. So I'm starving, nothing to do and its only 11:30 I still have 2 hours to go. How annoying is that?
At least there is someone here i can help out. She is taking a class i finished in spring and needs help registering for it. So that will take a little time at least. I am excited to be working with the kids, but I dont appreciate being here for 3 hours.
Seriously I am not happy but on to something else.
My teacher was giving us names of places that were good that we could go to, to do our hours, and then she gave us the 2 she said we shouldn't go to. Primrose is a BAD place to go. Technically they are accredited but they own the company that accredited them. They practices they do, like the work sheets for 2 year old, although make some parents go "wow that's awesome" is NOT okay. You have to understand those types of things for that age group is not, and i repeat not developmentally appropriate. You should not having 2 year olds doing work sheets. Their rooms are NOT arranged right, they dont have enough room yet they do not let the teachers rearrange their own rooms.
I didn't bring lunch.. I didn't bring ANYTHING because I wasn't supposed to be here that freaking long. So I'm starving, nothing to do and its only 11:30 I still have 2 hours to go. How annoying is that?
At least there is someone here i can help out. She is taking a class i finished in spring and needs help registering for it. So that will take a little time at least. I am excited to be working with the kids, but I dont appreciate being here for 3 hours.
Seriously I am not happy but on to something else.
My teacher was giving us names of places that were good that we could go to, to do our hours, and then she gave us the 2 she said we shouldn't go to. Primrose is a BAD place to go. Technically they are accredited but they own the company that accredited them. They practices they do, like the work sheets for 2 year old, although make some parents go "wow that's awesome" is NOT okay. You have to understand those types of things for that age group is not, and i repeat not developmentally appropriate. You should not having 2 year olds doing work sheets. Their rooms are NOT arranged right, they dont have enough room yet they do not let the teachers rearrange their own rooms.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Not going so well in school...
So we had our first writing assignment in English today. was our first class and as the other one had we had a little essay we were to write so she could see our levels. It was only going to be 4 points. I've never had a problem with essays and my English teacher before loved my writing, just not my grammar, and I got a's on every assignment.
I get home and find a grade is already posted...
What did I get? a 75%! -.- I received 3 out of 4 points. I don't understand it. I'm sure I did everything the way she wanted, that I wrote it out and everything like I had before. I re-read the rubric and it said to analyse. I did, so in response my conclusion had my opinion in it but that is what it wanted!
So why did I only get a c???
This is not showing any good omens on getting an A in English 121 if i cant even get a great grade on the very first assignment.
I get home and find a grade is already posted...
What did I get? a 75%! -.- I received 3 out of 4 points. I don't understand it. I'm sure I did everything the way she wanted, that I wrote it out and everything like I had before. I re-read the rubric and it said to analyse. I did, so in response my conclusion had my opinion in it but that is what it wanted!
So why did I only get a c???
This is not showing any good omens on getting an A in English 121 if i cant even get a great grade on the very first assignment.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Wrapper Cranes
So me and mom went to McDonald's today, the one inside Walmart, and while she was on the phone I was just folding my wrapper into a plane. When she started cleaning off her wrapper and started folding it. After a moment I realized she was trying to make a crane but couldn't remember. After both of us folding a little she remembered and... TUDAH! We had a crane.
Well my sister was still talking so I unfolded my wrapper and started making another crane. I got a little stuck but mom fixed it and then we had to. I really wanted a pic of them so mom decided to wait.
It was taking a bit so I took a napkin and started making another one, this one was smaller and I managed to do it all by myself. However while I was trying to blow air into it a loud whistle came out. I was trying not to laugh as mom just stared at me laughing a little saying, "Was that you??" I was like... I think so. Haha apparently my sister heard it through the phone as well.
Not sure how I made it whistle like that, but I eventually stopped laughing enough to go back to blowing air and got it puffed up and we ended up with three cranes. I would have felt bad throwing them away, so I kept them after taking a few pictures. I just wanted pics but mom asked me if I was taking them for my blog and it hit me. Yeah! I could just put them on my blog and by-pass Facebook.
I sent the pictures off to my sister who just laughed saying "you guys are silly" but hey... at least we had lots of fun making them!
So at least we had a good morning today. I will remember it for awhile and I swear, every time I think or make cranes now I'm just going to giggle because of that stupid whistle.
Well my sister was still talking so I unfolded my wrapper and started making another crane. I got a little stuck but mom fixed it and then we had to. I really wanted a pic of them so mom decided to wait.
It was taking a bit so I took a napkin and started making another one, this one was smaller and I managed to do it all by myself. However while I was trying to blow air into it a loud whistle came out. I was trying not to laugh as mom just stared at me laughing a little saying, "Was that you??" I was like... I think so. Haha apparently my sister heard it through the phone as well.
Not sure how I made it whistle like that, but I eventually stopped laughing enough to go back to blowing air and got it puffed up and we ended up with three cranes. I would have felt bad throwing them away, so I kept them after taking a few pictures. I just wanted pics but mom asked me if I was taking them for my blog and it hit me. Yeah! I could just put them on my blog and by-pass Facebook.
I sent the pictures off to my sister who just laughed saying "you guys are silly" but hey... at least we had lots of fun making them!
So at least we had a good morning today. I will remember it for awhile and I swear, every time I think or make cranes now I'm just going to giggle because of that stupid whistle.
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