Pissed Off, Annoyed, and Tired

I am tired. I had to get up early today because it was the day I volunteer at the public library.  Well dad invited the missionaries over and they are going to hang out and do the backyard... they had to push it back a few hours so guess who is the one person that gets to stay awake and help them out. -.- me!

I am tired, want to go to sleep but mom and my sister are both going to sleep so I get to stay up and help. The man that invited them over? HA! we all know he isn't going to do anything which is going to leave me tired and having to work. then after that at 7 the home teachers are coming over so I still can go to sleep.

Why is it that he invites people over and I'm the one that's going to be stuck with the work. He is the one that invited them over so why doesn't he do it?  I could just go to sleep anyways but that will just make him explode and I will be the one in trouble. I don't like the fact that i have to keep paying and working because of him! Why cant he do anything himself?! Why is it that i have to suffer a lot and give up a lot as well as other sin my family because he doesn't think of anyone else?!

I know he will tell a different story; I am just selfish and just don't understand how much he is in pain, how hard everything is. I'm tired of it. I am super tired and cannot take a nap because he invites people over leaving me and everyone else to clean and take care of it. Should be a law that says "you invite them over, you do the cleaning"

I want to take the easy way, to just accept the anger and the bullying from him for not helping but I can't. I can't handle all the crap anymore. I'm reaching the end of my rope and I don't know what I'm going to do if it doesn't end soon. I wish I had my degree and an amazing job that I could go off and live on my own and never EVER talk to him again. Sure I'd take to mom, i love her and she's understanding but i would never talk to him again, or see him unless I had to.

And when I ever have kids? HA he will only get to see them if he is still with mom. I'm not going to let my children stay with him, he will just work them to the bone and belittle them. So if him and mom ever get a divorce he wont ever get to see his grand-children either. Guess that's what you get when your an awful father.

He wont be able to tell me that I'm embarrassing the family then!